Age-Appropriate Faith Conversations: A Guide for Parents

When it comes to introducing your family’s faith to the next generation, there are so many thoughts that might run through your mind, especially in today’s generation where gentle conversations, education and not being forceful with your beliefs are encouraged. While in many faiths believing in what all of their ancestors did is compulsory, you still want your child to choose the religion. Through gentle introductions and conversations, you are guiding your children in what you believe to be the right faith. 

Talking about your faith to your children might make them confused or foster feelings of being overwhelmed. As religion comes with rules, consequences, and rewards and has a very long history, explaining these things to your children can be intimidating and, in some cases, push them away if it’s not done in the right manner. Becoming one with their faith is a passage they must take and a crucial part of their development because it teaches them morals, values and how to be kind to others and that’s all that we parents want for our children.

Here are some tips to guide you through age-appropriate faith conversations.

Early Childhood: 3–6 Years

At these ages, your children are curious about everything around them, asking questions, watching everything we do and copying us. So it comes as no surprise that these are going to be the beginning of the initial conversations. You might be given opportunities to talk about religion through their curious questions, such as why you might cover your hair with different hijabs every day or even why you wear a cross around your neck.

So if you ever find yourself in a situation where your little one is asking these types of questions, here are some tips to apply to your response:

1. Keep it simple, as at these ages you absorb only small parts of conversations so keep it very obvious with age-appropriate language and concepts they might absorb.
2. Focus on light-hearted things such as love, community, kindness and so forth.
3. Incorporate something they like, such as nature, e.g., how God created the world around them.
4. Stories can be both engaging and interesting to children so a short, simple story that you get from online could help you explain it better.

Primary School: 7–12 Years

From these ages, your children are beginning to form their own little personalities and now understand a lot more about actions, behaviours, morals and so forth. While there is still a lot to learn, it is easier to communicate and explain things to them, and they are more likely to retain more of the information you are giving them.

Here are some things that you can be doing while they are going through both education and pre-teen years.

1. A primary introduction to the faith, such as the core beliefs within the religion, such as the Ten Commandments for Christianity. Explaining them still in simple terms will allow them to process and adopt what they believe.
2. Encourage any questions, as connecting with a religion can be difficult for some, especially if you don’t understand it. Religion is essentially a guidebook, so you need to help your children understand what, why and where it’s guiding you.
3. Use it naturally, like you would explain how talking over someone is rude and bringing religion into it. Like, love thy neighbour or morality.
4. Get them involved when and how they choose to accept to be a part of it. This could be through praying before meals, religious holidays and other traditions you think your children would connect with.

Teenagers: 13–18

This age can be met with rebellion, but also your children are slowly adjusting to adulthood, so keeping in mind that their bodies, hormones and qualities are going to change within these years is important when it comes to talking. 

Here are some tips when communicating with your teenager about religion.

1. Encourage critical thinking, meaning give them space to breathe beyond what your beliefs are and allow them to interpret what they feel as right within religion.
2. Discuss faith and doubt. Knowing what you experience can allow them to be open and honest with their feelings.
3. Be there to offer guidance and support whenever they need it. Religion is a learning curve for most of us so be there in times of doubt or confusion.

Final Thoughts

Remember, the goal is to nurture a lifelong faith, not to force beliefs. By creating open and loving conversations about faith, you’re laying a strong foundation for your child’s spiritual journey. Be open, honest and supportive throughout the whole process, especially if they adopt the same core beliefs that are important to you and your family.

There are some other general tips to keep in mind, such as leading by example, being patient and seeking additional support if you need it, whether it’s from us today, other online sources, family or anything else.